i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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