I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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