dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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