and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize