Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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