im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize