Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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