wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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