So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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