the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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