apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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