1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
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you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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