highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize