I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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