I'm jealous of your bromance
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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