Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
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let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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