whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize