Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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