Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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