I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
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I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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