I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize