What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
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I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
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Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize