Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize