This girl is more easily done than said...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize