you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
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We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
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This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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