I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
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nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
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But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The uberlube is also flammable
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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