so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
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Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
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do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize