I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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