i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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