covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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