I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize