What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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