This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My liver just had a heart attack.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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