We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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