I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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