Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize