hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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