Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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