We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
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My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
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I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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