i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
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I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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