I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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