i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize