dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I wear drunk well.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize