I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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