He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Redeem this text for a blowjob
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize