Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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