Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize