you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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