He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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