you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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